bennet_beauty: (anticipation: by netherfield_x)
New Pemberley did always have the gift of largesse to it and for so many days of her time, Jane spent it wandering the halls and listening to the echo of her feet and the silence that did seem to reign. She had Lydia now to make more noise and the Queen beyond that, to whom Jane was always indebted and glad of her presence. It was Queen Elizabeth that Jane sought upon this sunny day, roaming through the halls and assuring that everything was in clean condition.

When finally she arrived at the drawing room, she settled to await the other woman, literature in hand to keep her mind occupied so that it did not automatically drift to Carwood as it had a terrible habit of doing in recent days.
bennet_beauty: (Default)
Jane had taken to cultivating herself a garden now that the warm weather had returned and graced them all with the prospect of sun and heat. It gave her mind something to occupy upon and allowed her quiet distraction and solace from all thoughts of Carwood and it did improve the look of her home, lonely as it was with only the three of them there.

She reached over Lady's scruff to pluck another bed of flowers farmed from other parts of the Island, ready to be transplanted and kept her dulled look upon them, feeling truly listless as she regarded her tasks. Perhaps the job gave her solace from Carwood, but there was a part of her that did not wish it so and merely wished that their relationship was not quite so problematic.

She blew a hot breath of air from past her lips, frizzy hair falling in her eyes as she did so.
bennet_beauty: (at the table: by ?)
This was quite the foolish endeavour, so Jane believed, and she could hardly believe she was attending as she was. Simply because a strange man with wings implied to her that he had found her someone to take her mind off her troubles, to offer solace and to allow her a moment's peace through romance. It was terribly silly and Jane was only attending so that she might tell whatever man he had coerced that such a date was not going to occur.

It was only right that she should deny this. She had found trouble in following her heart with Carwood and only recently had she been waking to find that she was not mired in grief. She must continue with this and not remain weak, subject to the moods of her heart. She bundled her long coat tighter about herself, tugging her gloves higher and keeping a weather eye upon her surroundings for whatever man was bound to arrive.
bennet_beauty: (red-eyed Jane: by ?)
Only one day had passed since Jane had found her way to Carwood and had explained as simply and kindly as she could that it would not do for her to be in his presence when she had developed feelings for him that were hardly appropriate in any light. It had been a day and still, Jane felt herself heavy with grief. She had taken Lydia to the Children's Office and had retreated home to a vast place filled with the echoes of happy life.

She hardly made it inside before she found herself overcome with the realization of the past day and what she had done. She pressed her back against the door and found herself sliding down it until she reached the floor, a stunned and teary look to her face as she gaped into space and wished for some sense to all this madness.

How could she have allowed herself to feel so deeply for a man that was taken? How terrible of her! Oh! She could not even sum up the ways that she was disappointed with herself, but she must come to terms with it as she had done it.

Jane found her body quaking mildly as she brushed long fingers against her cheeks to blot at whatever wetness was there, wishing for strength and for Lizzy and for the secureness and safety of her family in this moment. A quiet sob of a sound escaped her and as she glanced up, she realized that she had not fully closed the door upon her return.
bennet_beauty: (stunned: by vol4itca)
There was little that Jane had ever endured in her life that was quite so difficult as this precise situation she found herself in. It had been perfectly tolerable and yet so very frustrating all at once and now she found herself at this strange and horrid impasse in which she could not make amends with the feelings she was experiencing.

It hurt her so terribly, caused her stomach such an ache and her heart such a grief, and she knew that she could no longer hold in such secrets when honesty was far more respected. She must seek out Carwood and tell him, though she did not wish to at all. She did know she was most likely to find him at the Boarding House and so this is where she went, stepping foot into the office and knocking lightly upon the door.

"Carwood?" Oh! How strange that her voice did not falter and prove to be a signifier of things to come. "Are you perhaps free a moment?"
bennet_beauty: (daydreaming)
Lydia had been most in distress for a great deal of time, now. It seemed as though Jane could no longer ignore the strange bumps upon her skin and would be best availed at bringing in aid. Of course, this would be far easier had she known precisely what was wrong. It seemed to be a kind of pox, but Jane was no doctor and could not be sure.

"Mama," Lydia whined softly. "It itches."

"I know, darling," Jane promised hurriedly as she fetched cloths to wrap Liddy's hands in, hitching her up into her arms. "I know," she whispered, kissing her matted blonde hair (she was quite feverish, which was a concern as well). "We shall go to see Carwood," she promised. "You would like that, would you not? He will help."

"Okay," Lydia agreed, rubbing a clothed hand over her eye before Jane could snatch it back and prevent her from itching.

It was not a terribly distant walk, but Jane worried every step of the way, unsure of precisely what Carwood's opinion would be and terribly unsure of herself in his presence. She merely told herself over and over that it could come to nothing, that they would be nothing more than friends, but it did hurt her heart terribly to think so. She arrived at the officer's barracks and shifted Lydia in her arms (the weight growing heavier by the day). It was with a firm hand that she announced her presence, pounding upon the door. "Carwood! Carwood, are you at home?"
bennet_beauty: (how thoughtful: by ?)
Jane had taken to allowing Lydia to play in the playground as a matter of routine. The activities were far more invigorating than Jane could provide and there was the presence of other children nearby. She, herself, could take a book and rest it in her lap to allow her mind to be improved while Lydia was a safe distance away. Today, Jane could not focus on the words, though her gaze was focused on a point in the mid-distance. No matter what she attempted, her focus would often stray back to thoughts unspoken and ones that she wished to repress.

It was such a silly matter and an impossible one, besides, and she did simply not know how to make the feelings disappear. She flipped the page of her book though she had not finished reading the page before and attempted once more to focus.

It did not help. She found herself looking up and staring at Lydia, reminded of the way that he held her so easily and...oh! Jane found herself incapable of stopping such lines of thought. Her cheeks flushed an unhealthy pink and she wished that she could suppress her emotions as she had once a time ago, when she was still a younger woman.
bennet_beauty: (confidant: by tihana)
Jane had put the events with Anne to thought for a great deal of time and she believed she had come to some sort of conclusion, even if it did feel entirely too muddled in her own mind. She did feel that no matter what, she must discuss it further with Anne and had brought herself to the spare room that Anne was found in. Lydia had been put to bed and Jane was in nothing more than her own nightgown, hesitating by the doorway.

She simply knocked lightly, a graze of fingers, and she could not stand how absolutely nervous she yet was. "Anne?" she lightly called. "Anne, are you inside?"

[For Lloyd]

Feb. 7th, 2009 12:00 pm
bennet_beauty: (pleased: by gen_who)
The next occasion upon which Jane found a reason to go to the Boarding House was not to see her tenants in the whole, but merely to see one of them. She had long since been thinking of what had occurred at New Years, but could not bring herself to vocalize the questions as to why. Not until now, at which point Jane found there to be no reason to withhold herself any longer.

She brought with her the simplest of treats and found herself staring at Lloyd's door worriedly, sure that it did mean nothing. She simply wished for such clarifications. She adjusted the basket of cookies in her hand, glad for the Doctor's watching of Lydia while she conducted such a meeting.

Very softly, she knocked upon his door, increasingly hoping that perhaps he would not be home and this would be a very quick visit. Perhaps then Jane could simply continue to ignore her thoughts.
bennet_beauty: (sleeping angel)
Presumably, our pups have lives that happen when we aren't playing them, as none of us can play 24/7. Some of the things that happen are tedious and everyday, and not worth thinking much on: It's fair to assume they eat, bathe, go to "work" or school as it applies, etc. But there might be things that happen between pups that, while not necessarily requiring a thread, are important to note for the sake of development. The important stuff should always be played out, but we know you can't always play everything, and sometimes you need a little nudge in the right direction.


[For Glen]

Dec. 18th, 2008 03:39 pm
bennet_beauty: (janie in the middle: by ?)
Jane tugged her coat tighter about her body as she progressed and walked from her home to Mr. Bateman's, the knowledge burning in her mind as to what Lloyd had said to her. He had killed Glen, shot the man on an order. She had not been able to sleep one single night without replaying the events in her mind, imagining them in terrible form.

She hastened to hurry, her step faster and she was relieved to arrive at his hut (which was now in its strange winter shape), whereupon she did not hesitate to knock firmly and quickly upon the door. "Mr. Bateman. Mr. Bateman, it is Jane Bennet, are you here?" she asked, tone calm and yet worried.
bennet_beauty: (mussed)
bennet_beauty: (sisters: by ?)
Jane had not been entirely happy, if the truth were to worm its way to the surface. It was not at the fault of anyone, oh! No, she could not dare accuse anyone of soiling her mood for Jane could not dream of anyone being so cruel as to intentionally upset her. By far, Jane's mood was a product of circumstance, accidental and derivative of life.

She was not happy as she was not where she should be.

Now that Jane was not utterly so swathed in a dark cloud of depression regarding Stuart, she did not think that she should remain where she was; wholly in the way. After a morning constitutional, Jane dressed Lydia in her very best and she and her daughter sat upon the couch in the drawing room, simply waiting.

She knew that there must be a discussion and that it was best to have it soon. There was no sense in delaying the words.
bennet_beauty: (news: by ?)
It had been such a beautiful morning that Jane could not help but wish to walk to the Compound for food upon that day. She felt delightful, truly, despite the pains that were very much normal now. That day (a Saturday), she knew that she would be able to find plenty of delicious fruits and wonderful breads to bring home, which she did with a careful step. She greeted the dogs as she came back, leaning over to feed them each an equal piece of bread, brushing her hands off on her enlarged dress. "Stuart?" she called out, making her way back to the bedroom as she finished eating her apple.

Perhaps additional rest would do no harm. "Stuart, are you..."

She did mean to finish her sentence, but as she approached the room, all she could feel was a rather peculiar dampness to her. It could hardly be her monthly duress, for she had not experienced such a thing since she became pregnant. As well, she could not have sat in any pool of water. One long moment later, she realised precisely what had happened and her intake of breath was sharp and soft. "Stuart!" The cry this time was louder and slightly more panicked and would have carried out to the clearing, were he in the boarding house.

Stu came out of the nursery. Now that Mama and Darcy were settled elsewhere, he'd been fixing it up. Every day the baby didn't come, he found something new to do, whether it needed it or not.

"Yeah, darlin'?" he replied, looking at her, then looking at the floor around her feet. His heart jumped and he felt a little woozy. "'s time," he said softly and ran the few steps to her side.

Jane's eyes had widened in panic, not knowing what to do as her hand reached out to clasp Stuart's wrist, her fingertips pressing hard against his skin and there came a soft whimper of worry in her breathing. "What do I do?" she inquired, unsure now that her confinement had begun. She knew what must happen, but not what to do first.

Despite what he was feeling inside, Stu was as calm as ever. "Reckon we best get you to bed," he said with a gentle grin. "You're gonna have a baby."

He took her arm and laid his hand at the small of her back, escorting her to the bedroom. "Why don't you get the bottoms off. We're gonna need the doc here pretty quick," he said, then walked back out and opened to door. "Kojak. Treehouse," he said strongly and the old dog looked up, scented the air from inside the hut, and ran off the porch, hellbent for the Doctor and Chase's place.

Jane focused on her deep breathing as she walked alongside Stuart and closed her eyes as she tried her very best to walk along uninterrupted, her chest tight as she neglected to breathe properly. But she did precisely as he said, sliding out of her bottoms and sitting gently on the bed, her rather large stomach before her.

It was strange to think that soon, it would not be quite so large.

Once the dog was off, Stu returned and undid his buttons, stripping down to his undershirt. He hoped the doctor would be quick...he was terrified this might go fast and he'd have to catch the girl. He wasn't looking forward to that, no sir.

He took a seat and fluffed the pillows, smiling at her whenever he'd look up. "Are you having regular pains, Jane?"

"Not regular, no, no, not regular at all," Jane reported, quite calmly and with deep breaths as she reached for his hand and took it into her own, closing her eyes as she settled into the bed. "Hardly at all. I have felt but one sharp pain."

"Then we have plenty of time," Stu replied, gently stroking her hair back from her face. "You want a glass of water or something? I'm sure the Doctor and Chase will be here any minute."

"Doctor Maturin," Jane said immediately, feeling quite hot in the weather as she held onto Stuart's hand with a wary smile that hinted upon her lips. "Please do not leave me?" she requested quietly, eyes brimming with water as she stared up at him. She could not cease to be so very frightened.

"Ain't anywhere I need to be," he teased gently, getting comfortable on the edge of the bed. "I sent Kojak and the Doctor'n them know what to do, right? We have it all planned out." He was trying to be reassuring, hoping it was coming through.

She nodded as she focused on her breathing, keeping hold of his hand while her other went to rest upon her stomach and she began to wince when a fresh set of pain slowly came over her and she held her breath, teeth digging into her lower lip with aplomb. "It hurts," she admitted, voice tiny and surprised as she embraced the pain.
bennet_beauty: (garden girl: by ?)
She’s much more inviting and kind than anyone I’ve ever met before, except for the part where she’s just as shy as I am introverted, which makes for stilted conversation every few moments when I’m not pretending to be someone else and she isn’t just being polite. And there’s the fact that I just don’t like tea, so when Jane Bennet serves it up with hopeful eyes, I can’t even say yes, not honestly. She pours it anyway, because it’s an occupation for her fingers and keeps her useful.

I’m not sure I want to even broach that topic yet. Though I’m by no means a feminist, there are some things I just can’t reconcile with her.

She’s more beautiful than I could ever be and like always, I shrink under it, the way she sits so perfect and straight and thin and even if she doesn’t think so of herself, and says as much as she sips at her tea (“I never did see all the horrid fuss about my figure or beauty”), it goes without saying that in every version of every book and teleplay, in every movie, Jane is a sparkling beauty; an ‘angel’. And I’m just plain.

“Oh! You must not think such things.”

She knows everything that passes through my mind, just like I know hers. It’s an elaborate and ethically tricky game of give and take and she never presses, just like I won’t say aloud what I think, even though she has every chance to hear it.

But I take the tea anyway and I look into the cup before glancing up at her, knowing that while she may be prettier, I was never compared to her at all. “Everything you do,” I finally do ask, when I’ve shaken off the awkward feeling that makes me feel a pit in my stomach. “It’s out of love for your family.”

She doesn’t even smile in return, but there’s that knowing and settled look on her features, a sort of contented glow that speaks of having figured it out. “Your family is not so happy as mine?”

“No, mine’s happier,” I insist, because my mother is no Mrs. Bennet, my father doesn’t avoid his family and while my brother can be trying, he’s no Lydia Bennet. “But…you’re better than me. To do what you do for them, real or adopted.”

“Perhaps,” Jane admits, though she barely flinches as she sips the tea, which was too hot at the touch. I didn’t mention the imperfection because it’s so slight that in the long run, it won’t matter a bit. “Perhaps you simply do not realize how much you do. Or perhaps you do not realize that happy as I may be, that I do hold mild resentment.”

I know. Of course I know.

“It is most important for me to be loved,” Jane finally says, her voice soft. “To be safe and loved and without fear of harm.”

I can sympathize with that. “Me, too,” is all I say before we sit, the tea cooling between us, the conversation veering back into the depths of awkwardness.
bennet_beauty: (giddy: by ?)
Her dreams had been rife with the future that evening, of oranges and children and the shine of Lizzy's hair in the sunlight, tied with ribbons and love and Jane curled happily into the warmth of Stuart's body, glad that for the evening, Lydia had settled within her to give her some peace. Though there were many aches as of late, Jane never saw fit to complain of them and when morning came and she roused, she could only be content to be privileged to wake up another day in the happiest home she had found.

She tugged the blankets tighter, a strange shiver about her when she noticed that Stuart was no longer wrapped about her, causing something of distress in her. "Stuart?" she inquired curiously, wondering just where his strong arms had gone to.

[For Stu]

Jun. 10th, 2007 11:24 pm
bennet_beauty: (so softly amused: by callie)
The moment that Elizabeth had gone to find her food, Jane had swept up her skirts and immediately set to her feet, ribbon falling out of her hair as she descended each stair, in a hurry to find Stuart. She did think to try their home first and foremost and though her legs ached with the use after so much rest, she was pleased for it, knowing that she was back and she was to be with her husband.

She crossed the clearing, running at a brisk pace, as fast as she possibly could and up the stairs, petting Kojak and Lady happily. Where could he be? She needed to see him, she could think of nothing else!
bennet_beauty: (thoughtful: by ?)
It was all so very strange and bordered upon the absurd. Such strange happenings, but when Jane had gone to sleep, at least content that her family was very much safe, she had not felt herself in the familiarity of Mr. Darcy's home when she began to stir. How odd, then. Had she not found herself off from the island, free from its confines? However could she begin to understand this? She stirred slightly, eyes blinking open slowly and quite lazily.

It felt, perhaps, as though she had been sleeping a month. And la, but when she opened her eyes, she saw the most strange and blurry sight that did confirm for her that she must be dreaming.

"Lizzy?" Jane spoke hoarsely, mouth very much dry.

She did not understand and she slowly sat up, adjusting her eyes to the room before a spark of hope latched itself to Jane and she allowed herself the very most tentative of tiny smiles. Was she back? Was Stuart nearby?

"Lizzy, oh! Whatever are you doing here?" Jane inquired with such joyous relief and happiness as she sat herself up, Lydia kicking all the while.


bennet_beauty: (Default)
Jane Bennet

February 2014

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